What can be said about intentions that have not already been said? Well for starters it is not all about intentions. There’s this idea that intent is the end all be all of working spiritually. It is important, but it is one part of a formula or recipe.
We like to say things like:
“It's the thought that counts.”
“I wanted what was best.”
“I meant for (outcome) to happen.”
These are all excuses. We all know that things don’t always turn out the way we want despite our best intentions. We write it off as saying these things to deflect from accepting responsibility.
That is why I wanted to hash out intentions early in discussing the Mind. Intentions need to be better understood. What comes after are the pieces that can throw intentions out of whack or keep them in line.
The Sad Truth
You will meet people throughout your life who will have very negative intentions towards you. These people will either outright clash with you from the start or be covert and secretive about it. The secretive ones are the ones you have to watch out for. That goes back to the Body and paying attention to subtle signals.
For example, I was once part of a book group about meditation. We started having daily meditation calls and it became apparent that I was most versed in the group in meditation techniques. The person who put the group together talked a lot about holding space for everyone and the reading material. Overall it was a welcoming environment. Then one day on a call, they put me on the spot and asked me to start teaching meditation classes once a week. I stammered a bit with a “Uhhh suuuuuure…we can look into that.”
They and I had a phone call privately after that to discuss it. I said, “How about a session 0, where I get to let people ask me general questions and talk about what they want out of meditation? That way I can figure out what I need to teach.”
Their reply was, “I feel like you don’t trust people.” WHAT?! How does me giving space for an open forum translate to that? And they followed that up with all these plans of headshots, lesson plans, marketing, etc and, to top it all off, they got final approval for what I would be “allowed” to teach. Someone who was a beginner in meditation was going to “manage” me and “approve” what I could teach. Because they wanted the teaching to be aligned with the book we were reading. A book that I had finished reading at this time and they had not.
Their intentions became clear, they wanted to exploit and control others. It was under the guise of “healing and helping.”
The same day we had that call I got an email to be in a training program that I had been waiting for. On top of getting that email, the director of the program emailed me separately to tell me they were giving me a scholarship for the program because they were aware of my financial situation at the time.
In one day, I saw both sides of intentions. One who, covertly, was only looking for how to empower oneself. The other truly wanted to help others grow and succeed. My decision was pretty easy. I messaged the group leader and said, “I’m sorry, I won’t be able to commit to what you want because this came up and I need to focus on that at this time.” They weren’t happy about it. Within a week they kicked everyone from the group and closed it out with a nasty message summarized as, “...since no one is responding, I am done with this.” Sadly though, people were still responding to each other, and the self-appointed leader was the one no longer engaging in the group.
The Sadder Truth
That last example was pretty blatant about negative intentions. What is truly scary though is people with even more hidden intentions. I once had to deal with someone who was purposely trying to sabotage others to help their friend get a job. Why hurt others so their friend can have a better shot? One, if the friend got the job over more qualified individuals because of those actions it could be putting the friend at risk. Two, it gives the friend a false sense of confidence. Three, what if the friend is stable enough without the job and the people being sabotaged are in desperate need of the job?
Ultimately, their intent was to help their friend. The problem was the driving force behind it was “no matter the cost.” This is a classic case of people imposing their will on others. Whether the friend asked for the assistance or not, the person doing the sabotaging was putting WANTS ahead of NEEDS. We want what we want and will do whatever it takes to get that. We ignore the needs and sound guidance or advice to push forward to our desires.
This doesn’t mean you have to forsake your desires and live in a hermitage state. I am saying that you outline what you want and then find out what you need to get that desire. When we do this rather than just blundering through to the goal we can appreciate obtaining our desires more. In the example above, things were not thought out very well and everyone ended up suffering. The employer got a sub-par candidate, the other candidates had to continue searching for a job, the friend got a job they weren’t ready for, and the person who did the sabotaging got backlash from everyone involved. Even if only energetically.
The Saddest Truth
There are the people we are supposed to trust to guide us and lead us as well. When their desires overshadow the needs of the community you get some really terrible results. These are blatant negative intentions that we actively allow to affect us because someone we trust is issuing them. We give ourselves over to blindly following someone in a seat of authority and forget their authority is granted by us.
I left the Pentecostal church pretty unceremoniously in 2007. I was very involved in several ministries including children’s ministry, choir, youth ministry, puppet and performance team, etc. I was out of high school and in college at that time while also working full-time. Somehow I still managed to be at the church nearly five days a week. That was each service and most of the other commitments. The only one I started missing because of my schedule was choir. I didn’t think much of it because we had rotating groups that would sing on different Sundays. Apparently, I was not the only one.
One bright Sunday morning, the Pastor of that church got in front of the congregation and started talking about commitments to the church. I sat there getting agitated with what was being said (there are those energetic signals I’ve felt my whole life). He preached on and on about how we should forsake our jobs and school to be more dedicated to being in service for the church. “Sir! The church doesn’t pay my bills!” I wanted to scream.
Then came the hammerfall. He sat there in his assumed authority and said, “To those of you who have the gift to sing but you can’t seem to find time to be here for practices I pray to God that you lose your gift!”
I stood up and shouted back, “DO NOT CURSE YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN CHRIST WITH YOU!” And then I walked out. In the coming weeks, I learned several others left that church following that moment. A pastor, whose purpose was to tend to the needs of the congregation, had decided on his own to call out to God and pray for a curse upon us. That was like the shepherd of sheep to willing turn wolves loose in the pasture. It was a slap in the face for me and in the moment I rejected his authority. His intention was to get everyone rededicated to being in service of the church without considering the needs of the congregation. His assumed authority and power led him to believe he was right no matter what.
Here’s the common thread in all of the above scenarios, imposition of will. That is the point I wanted to make through all of those because that is exactly what intention is. Intention is the process of channeling and directing your will. You want to get started doing yoga but you can’t get out of bed early enough to go to sessions. You don’t have a strong enough intention then. You want to start eating healthier but you still go through the drive-throughs daily. Your intention isn’t strong enough. You have intentions but you haven’t tapped into your personal willpower.
That is where most people fall short with intentions. Because, just like the above examples, when you don’t tap into your own willpower and source of self you begin to utilize the energy of others to fuel your intentions. You become an energy vampire basically. That leads to you making decisions in your best interest rather than the interest of others. You begin to abuse your power, which isn’t even your power so much as stolen power.
Intention can still be an imposition of will even when done healthily. The difference between healthy usage of intent from unhealthy comes down to it being clear and in service to needs over desires. In the first example, the “leaders” desires for the group outweighed the needs. They even insulted me for suggesting we understand the needs of the group first. In the second example, the saboteur put the wants of their friend over the need to understand there were more factors than just, “My friend wants this job I’m going to make sure they get it.” The final example is a blatant abuse of authority and complete disregard for the well-being of others instead of the pastor’s desires for his church.
When used healthily, intention can be the saving grace for many people. If I see a friend struggling with something I do not interject unless they ask me to. I have services listed on the website of healing sessions. I don’t walk the sidewalk and look at people and say, “Hey, you need healing come see me.” That’s where people go from being open and willing to serve to just wanting to make money.
For example, gosh this post has a lot of examples, when in training for some of those services, I had to do a particular service a certain number of times before the next training session. One of my friends was open to letting me perform the service on them for practice. We kept pushing it off though and then one day we were talking about some of the things going on in their life. Everything was on such a beautiful upward trajectory that I said, “You know, I know you said you would let me practice this service on you, but because everything is going so well for you right now I don’t think it would be right to do that. I don’t want to do the service for the sake of doing it when you don’t need it. I don’t want to potentially ruin things for you.” They agreed and we left it at that. Speaking with my mentor later about that situation, they told me that I took the best course of action in that situation.
We have to be aware of what is going on in the present before we just throw our intentions around. I said earlier that intentions are one part of a formula or recipe. The rest of the ingredients are our emotions, values, and the forces we employ. Intentions are the active thoughts of the Mind and the other three are what create the power of the intention.
Let’s say you are a captain of a pirate ship. Intentions would be the front of the ship; the bow or the figurehead. You are steering the ship and the intentions are cutting through the seas. Their power is everything behind them pushing them along. Your emotions are the sails, different events in your life trigger the sails (emotions) in different ways, and that helps to propel the ship forward pushing your intentions out. Your compass is your values. Solid values help you navigate and stay on a course of integrity with yourself and the world around you. Following healthy values ensures your intentions are steady and understanding. The ship’s crew are the forces we employ every day with the Mind. These forces of the Mind are things we have to actively work with constantly. These help to stabilize our intentions and make certain they are coming from a place of harmony and respect rather than self-interest and damage.
You can have “good intentions” that are propelled by grief or anger. This throws the result of the intentions off of the healthy course.
You can have “good intentions” guided by overconfidence which can run you into a glacier of troubles instead of a healthy outcome.
You can have “good intentions” motivated by revenge instead of forgiveness. This makes the outcome of those intentions fragile and likely to cause more harm than finding a lasting resolution.
Intentions are what we unleash into the world from the Mind. We draw up the energy and project it outward. They are the final decision before an action is made. They should not be the starting point of anything you do. Remember in the post about rituals I talked about being proactive, not reactive. When we start with our intentions we are working reactively, because we are seeing a desire and driving to that result. When you check in first with emotions, values, and the forces of the Mind you are working proactively. You can see the bigger picture from all of the details. Then you put your intentions to work towards the desired result with a steady and healthy game plan. If we go around doling out our “good intentions” without checking in with our emotions, values, and the forces of the Mind then we are shooting an automatic rifle while blindfolded. You might hit your target but you might hit everything else in the process.
This was another long one but again it was necessary for this topic. We need to grow as a society in how we handle ourselves and regain control of our minds. Intentions have been widely misused and misunderstood for a while now and it breaks my heart. I see the people that want to do good in the world but everything keeps blowing up in their faces. They have the best of intentions; things just don’t go in a healthy direction. It is the whole debate in “white magic vs. black magic” really. “Black magic” is just nature magic and spirituality centered around the world and healing for the planet. People who want to do “white magic” want to heal others and end addictions or suffering etc etc. But if you are deciding that you know what’s best for someone else without letting them have a say, well your “white magic” is doing a whole lot more harm than it is helping.
I can continue to go on about all of this, but I know you probably have a lot to think about after reading this. Might be a good time for some reflection on events in your life. I want to leave you with this, give yourself some grace and forgiveness. Mishaps with intentions happen. It is a serious growing pain for those on a spiritual path. You’re fine. The mistakes happen, we accept them, we learn from them, and we move on better for it.
Thank you for reading. Again, this was another long one, but we are in the Mind now and these concepts do get a bit deeper. I hope your day is as amazing as you are. See you next time.
コメント